Happy Halloween!

Halloween is probably my favorite holiday.

Seriously. I love it more than Christmas. It's the one holiday that I can dress like a complete fool and get away with it. My costume this year was an "80's chick." That's what I dubbed it at least. We have a Halloween Costume Contest every year at work. And I REALLY thought I had it in the bag this year... I was creative, colorful (who wasn't in the 80's?!), and my make-up was adorable... and then... my coworker, walked into the building.

First of all... I work in a pediatrician's office.

Secondly... we see a variety of all kinds of things from chicken pox, fevers, coughing, allergic reactions, bug bites, etc... I could go on forever. Now... my coworker won last year dressed as Cruella DeVille. She looked FABULOUS... so naturally I wanted her to win. Well... this year she came dressed as a BEDBUG. A freaking bedbug. I knew I lost at that moment. Who dresses as a bedbug?! GRRRR!!!! I'm just mad I'm not that creative. She was dressed in pajama bottoms, slippers, a comfy tshirt, with a red robe over the top. Then she made a giant brown bug body and put half of it on the front of her robe and the other half on the back. Complete with little black antennae and blood around her mouth from "sucking blood from unsuspecting sleepers."

Anyway... I'll let you judge. I'm on the left. She's on the right. :)
Happy Halloween!!!

   




















                                           **UPDATE** : I won by ONE VOTE!!!! CRAZY!!!!

Give me a break.

Break me off a piece of that Kit-Kat Bar.

My "October break" resulted in a negative. I was so positive about this cycle too! I had two really good follicles, and my husband had a good count... but alas. Negative. :( Now we seriously ARE taking a break. Not just telling people we are. It's frustrating... so, so frustrating. I know this is a good thing though, especially for my mental health, my emotional health, and my financial circumstances. This really is taking a toll on our bank account.

Talk about a stress relief.

When I talked to the doctor on Monday I told them that I had started my cycle and taken two home pregnancy tests (both being negative). I also asked if it would be okay if my husband and I took a "break" for a couple months. Just until the holidays and the stress ball that is Christmas is over with. They said that it was fine to do that and that it wouldn't alter my treatment plan in any way. I would be fine to pick up right where I left off as soon as I wanted to. I told them I would most likely call them in January. They also said if we were to conceive on our own during our two month hiatus to call them and they'll monitor me for the first twelve weeks.

The good news?

I know around the time I ovulate now, BUT that is while on medication. I won't be on my fertility drugs (Ovidrel & Gonal-F) during the break. I will however continue to take my Metformin, Aspirin, Prenatal, Co-Q10, and any other vitamins I want to take. I also plan on continuing my Clomid. I'll start that tomorrow. Just because I know it will help me to ovulate. I may not be triggering my ovulation, but I know I'll ovulate and possibly conceive on our own. I'm just really not thinking it will happen like that. I honestly think that it's going to take IVF to get my hostile uterus to accept pregnancy. *sigh* Not saying I have a hostile uterus or anything... but if the shoe fits I might as well wear it.

I am welcoming this REAL LIVE break with open arms.

This way I can concentrate on buying Christmas presents for my four nephews, three nieces, my five sisters-in-law, two brothers-in-law, three brothers, mother, mother-in-law, father-in-law and my husband. My husband will normally help me with shopping for the younger kids... two of my sisters-in-law are under the age of 16, as well as one of my brothers-in-law. The rest are older and have kids of their own (the nieces and nephews). My husband has an American family, what can I say? I just have my three brothers. :)

Needless to say, I have plenty of children to hold me over on holidays until I have my own.

Jessica Ridgeway.

This has nothing to do with infertility.

I need to discuss this, because it's something I think about almost constantly. I've been following the case of a missing child from Colorado named Jessica Ridgeway.  Police have found a body, but have not released/said whether or not it is Jessica's body that they found. This is terrible in and of itself that it may NOT be Jessica since it would mean that another ten year old blonde haired girl was found dead. I pray for the family that one of two things happens. They FIND Jessica. And that whatever the outcome the family will have peace and JUSTICE. The sad part about an open forum at the end of online articles is this: people have the nerve to blame the parents for her disappearance.

I can't stress this enough.

People are not perfect. Parents are not perfect. Jessica is ten years old. She left for school to meet her friends at a park where they would then all walk together. The school called Jessica's mother shortly after 8:00am to report that she wasn't there. The mother missed the phone call and didn't get the message until she woke up at 4:00pm. This woman works third shift to provide for her family. And it sounds terrible and people want to know how you can "miss" a phone call. Easy... you're tired. You don't HEAR the phone. I, for one, do NOT blame this mother. It is NOT her fault Jessica got abducted by a monster. 

Here is my point of all of this.

Jessica is ten years old. She walked to school every day before this. Her mother trusted her enough to get there, and she DID. When I was ten years old my mother trusted the same of me. I walked roughly a quarter mile to and from school every day without a second thought. My mother let my brother and I play outside unattended as long as we were out front and she could occasionally glance out and see us. If we weren't right out front we were probably down the street or easily within ear shot. I cannot believe how times have changed. This mother was probably trusted to walk to and from school herself so she saw nothing wrong with letting her daughter walk to school unattended. I see nothing wrong with it, but times HAVE changed. And it's a HORRIBLE circumstance when you realize it too late. I can't fathom what possess people to molest innocent children. To abduct innocent children and murder them for some sick obsession. I hope the mother of Jessica Ridgeway receives justice for her daughter. Whether she is found dead or alive. And I pray that she finds comfort during this horrific time in her life.

Jessica is 4'10," 80 pounds, has shoulder-length blonde hair, blue eyes and was last seen wearing a black jacket with pink and purple eyeglasses.
Anyone with any information is being asked to call the Westminster Police tip line: 303-658-4336 or email PDamberalert@cityofwestminster.us.

Stimming and Baby dust.

Long time. I know. 

At least it feels like I haven't written in forever. I told everyone we were "taking a break,"  when in reality we really aren't. It's super less stressful on me. So as a result my body has responded amazingly to the medication. I took Clomid starting on September 30th through October 3rd then I started my injectable drugs on the 3rd as well. I have been taking them like clockwork every day and am very proud of myself. They have me on Gonal-f.  My only complaint (other than stabbing myself in the belly with a needle every day) is the BRUISING that comes with it. Usually I will just bruise a tiny bit by the injection site and it's gone in two days, but yesterday I noticed that I have a gigantic bruise. It's purple-blue and very not pretty to look it. But it's not painful. I do think I'll avoid my right side for the remainder of the injections. Luckily for me my last injection of the medication is tomorrow. They had me on a low dose to begin with at only 37.5 units until yesterday.

My estrogen level came back at 77.

They told me this was good, but the doctor wanted to raise my dosage of the Gonal-f to 75 units for yesterday and today. Then on Wednesday he wants me to dose myself at 150 units and then take my Ovidrel injection that night as well at 10:00pm. This cycle has gone SUPER fast. I only had to go get my follicles checked once when normally I go two-four additional times to recheck them. As of yesterday at 8:15am I have one follicle measuring at 16mm and a second at 12mm. By Wednesday they should both be mature enough to release an egg. I also have a smaller 7-8mm folly on the other side that COULD grow as well, but it isn't as likely. It was actually quite comical yesterday when my doctor told me I responded beautifully and that he didn't need to have me come back at all. He scheduled the IUI for this Friday at 10:00am. My husband has his appointment at 8:00am. It's just really crazy that I didn't have to go back for a recheck. I still can't wrap my head all the way around that. I actually had to call my pharmacy to have my Ovidrel shipped out yesterday for today instead of Wednesday for Thursday. I was totally not prepared to have them tell me that I'll trigger Wednesday.

Keeping fingers crossed.

If pregnancy does NOT happen this month. We really ARE taking a break... especially with the holidays fast approaching we don't want to be super stressed out. So this is our last attempt until January. Wish us luck and baby dust please. :)